During my 24 years as a parent what I’ve learnt is that at my core, I am a good mother and I know what my children need and am able to meet those needs. The challenge I have faced and continue to face is that I am consciously choosing to parent in a different way to how I was parented and that the wounds I received as a child show up in my own parenting when I am not conscious. So what does this mean? When our needs are not met as children, when our pain is met with anger rather than love, when our struggles are punished rather than supported, when our feelings are ignored rather than accepted and when we make ourselves less in order to fit in with our family, we are wounded. All of these things happen not because our parents were bad people but because they were also unconscious and parenting from their own wounds, and when each generation continues this unconscious journey of repeating the wounds inflicted on them we just get stuck in the cycle. Eckhart Tolle tells us, “The deeper cause of family dysfunction is not the parents’ lack of knowledge or education but their lack of awareness. Without a conscious parent there can be no conscious parenting!….when there is no mindfulness you relate to your child….through the conditioning of your mind”.
Becoming conscious is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and our children, coming back to the belief that we are enough, that we are loveable and that we don’t need to change ourselves to be accepted, allows us to practice this with our children too – authentically. This journey can feel hard and lonely at times, I know it has for me and during those times I have found support in my therapist, my mindfulness community and friends who are becoming conscious too. This is what we offer to others – parents and individuals who want to be conscious – in their life, their relationships and their parenting and we do this through holding space for you and teaching what we have learnt.
When you are ready to do the work and want support then we are here – you can reach out to me via email on joanne@joannejewell.com or call/whatsapp me on +971509506526 wherever you are in the world.
Our next series of Mindfulness Practice workshops for Parents begins in October in Dubai. Please visit our workshops page for more details and information on how to join. I look forward to seeing you there.